Thursday, November 4, 2010

25 Signs That You've Been Traveling Too Much…

Security lines. Airline food. Delayed flights. Armrest hogs. Expense reports. Woohoo.

People that don't travel much have this idea that business travel is exciting and tons of fun. Well the turbulence over Denver can certainly be exciting, but much of business travel is more mundane than great times. Oh certainly there are those occasional dinners at Brazilian steak houses and tours of the Dallas Cowboy's football stadium with 1,000 fellow conference attendees.

But most of the time business travel is about conference calls in a cab, missing the business-class upgrade by one person and finishing your presentation at 3:30 in the morning.

So for frequent travelers everywhere, here is my list of the “top 25 signs that you’ve been traveling too much”:

1. You open your bedroom door in the morning expecting to see a USA Today newspaper hanging from the door handle.

2. You pick up your dry cleaning on the way to the airport.

3. $15 for a club sandwich and fries sounds reasonable as long as it comes with the mini bottle of ketchup.

4. Your idea of a relaxing Saturday night is doing your expense reports on your iPad from the couch.

5. You actually figured out how to open those airline pretzel bags.

6. You do your holiday shopping at the Minneapolis airport between flights.

7. You won't buy anything over 3 ounces.

8. You don't understand why anyone would buy lace-up shoes or black luggage.

9. If you hear the words "middle seat" you break out in sweats, get sick to your stomach and have nightmares for a week.

10. Your new hobby is counting how many people on your flight have iPads.

11. You think the "stay vacation" concept is the greatest invention since the roller bag.

12. You signed up for GoGo Inflight's monthly recurring WiFi package.

13. Your spouse finds out what you are up to when friends read her your Foursquare updates.

14. You don't understand why there isn't a priority ordering line for frequent buyers at Starbucks.

15. You know exactly what to order at Chili's.

16. Your favorite scene in "Up In The Air" is when Ryan (George Clooney) and Alex (Vera Farmiga) compare their collection of loyalty cards.

17. Speaking of "Up In The Air," you first saw it while… up in the air.

18. You consider it a successful year if you were home for your kid's birthdays and your wedding anniversary.

19. You're surprised when someone serves you wine in something other than a plastic cup.

20. A "night out" for you is eating dinner alone in the hotel bar instead of ordering room service.

21. You know your passport number.

22. $300 noise-canceling headphones. Priceless.

23. You load the family into the SUV by row number.

24. You don't pack and unpack your suitcase, you replenish it.

25. You write a blog post about traveling too much – while on a flight home.

Let me know your favorite "sign" from above...or better yet...add your own list in the comments section below. See you up in the air...